PHP

PHP is the name of a sub-par programming language as well as a group containing horrible English.

Reasons why PHP is a shitty language

1. Node.js is the only real dev language. Doesn't everyone know that?
2. It's old, outdated, and overused just like your mom.
3. The syntax is long and ugly like your face.
4. Shitty recursion support.
5. No namespaces. What kind of shitty ass programming language wouldn't have namespaces?
6. Many of its own modules aren't thread safe, leading to performance worse than South Park's rendition of Lorde.
7. If you're going to try to understand a PHP license, you might as well get your Ph.D. in hieroglyphics.
8. Most languages choose from one of the following naming conventions:
   1. getnumberoffiles
   2. get_number_of_files
   3. getNumberOfFiles
9. PHP decided, fuck you, we'll use ALL THREE!
10. Good luck finding an object-oriented framework other than Zend PHP Framework.
11. No unicode support. No. Unicode. Support.
12. PHP is as quick and easy as getting from Bronx to Queens during rush hour.
13. (string)"false" == (int)0 is true.
14. References are implemented piss-poorly.